The article,
Constructivist Counseling for Career Indecision, (Savickas, 1995) forced me to
analyze times where indecision controlled my life. For the most part, I would say my life has
been defined by obvious choices or choices that have been expected of me and
already planned out. I have not had much
indecision throughout my life which is good because making decisions is not one
of my strong suites. However, there was one period in my
life where I struggled with indecision.
This was deciding my undergraduate major. However, unethical
it may be I decided to do a condensed reflective
case study. I used the life theme-counseling model (Savickas, 1995) to analyze my indecision. I was an 18-year-old female college freshman who had a
passion for helping children.
My story to my life theme dates back
to my childhood spent in the “classroom.” During the day, I was “Ms. Florimo.” I was a 5-year-old teacher that turned the
guest room into a classroom. I spent my days arranging my dolls in chairs,
teaching my sister basic arithmetic (she is now the engineer of the family),
and writing on a chalkboard. At that time, I knew I wanted to
be a teacher, not just any teacher, but an elementary teacher.
My next
stop on the way to deciding my career path goes back to
when I was a ten-year-old girl. I remember it like it
was yesterday, curled on the floor screaming, “What did I do
wrong?” Twelve years later, it is still traumatic to
recall, but that petrified little girl was me after
reading an aggressive email. I became a victim to bullying. Shortly
after, I was sitting on a couch across from a psychologist scared to
relive my story. To this day, I think the psychologist was unable
to empathize with the fragile emotions of a young
child who was lost and afraid. At that
time, I knew I wanted to be a child psychologist. Who can empathize or teach these children better than
someone who has walked in their little shoes?
As a
college freshman, I had two options: teacher or child psychologist. My life
theme is not one of much complexity. I want to impact the lives of children. I want to work with the ones who are
struggling, the ones who need an extra push and even the ones who would be just
fine without me. I knew then, just as I know now, the best career choice for
me was a child psychologist. My life theme was answered.
As I sit at
my kitchen table and reflect on my indecision, some might say I froze
before declaring a major, but I say and I think Savickas would agree
my “indecision expressed hesitation before transformation (Savickas, 1995, p. 335).”
Savickas, M., (1995). Constructivist Counseling for Career
Indecision, 333-342
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